Issue: September 1999,
I love cats ... they taste just like chicken.
As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.
Sometimes I wake up grumpy; other times I Iet her sleep.
I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather - not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
l didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?
I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
Time is the best teacher; unfortunately, it kills all its students!
Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear.
Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot. He/she who laughs last thinks slowest.
Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes.
Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
i souport publik edekasion
We are Microsoft. Resistance Is Futile. You Will Be Assimilated.
Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.
Why is "abbreviation" such a long word?
2+2=5 for extremely large values of 2
There are 3 kinds of people in the world: those who can count & those who can't.
If a man speaks in a forest, and there's no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?
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