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Kids Say The Darndest Things

Author:Author unknown, Issue: May 2003, Topic: Humour

Some elementary school teachers recently shared some amusing things their students have written in papers. Here are a few examples:

  1. The parts of speech are lungs and air.
  2. The inhabitants of Moscow are called Mosquitoes.
  3. A census taker is a man who goes from house to house increasing the population.
  4. Water is composed of two gins. Oxygin and hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrogin is gin and water.
  5. (Define H2O and CO2.) H2O is hot water and CO2 is cold water.
  6. The general direction of the Alps is straight up.
  7. A city purifies its water supply by filtering the water then forcing it through an aviator.
  8. Most of the houses in France are made of plaster of Paris.
  9. The spinal column is a long bunch of bones. The head sits on the top and you sit on the bottom.
  10. One of the main causes of dust is janitors.
  11. A scout obeys all to whom obedience is due and respects all duly-constipated authorities.
  12. To prevent head colds, use an agonizer to spray into the nose until it drips into the throat.
  13. The four seasons are salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.
  14. The climate is hottest next to the Creator.
  15. Syntax is all the money collected at the church from sinners.
  16. The blood circulates through the body by flowing down one leg and up the other.
  17. In spring, the salmon swim upstream to spoon.
  18. A person should take a bath once in the summer, and not so often in the winter.

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