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Redefining Words: New Definitions

Author:Author unknown, Issue: November 2001, Topic: Humour

  • abdicate - to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach
  • flabbergasted - appalled over how much weight you have gained
  • lymph - to walk with a lisp
  • coffee - a person who is coughed on
  • semantics - pranks conducted by young men studying for the priesthood, including such things as gluing the pages of the priest's prayer book together just before vespers
  • balderdash - a rapidly receding hairline
  • rectitude - the formal, dignified demeanor assumed by a proctologist immediately before he examines you
  • circumvent - the opening in the front of boxer shorts
  • frisbatarianism - belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck

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