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Wacko Headlines From This Century

Author:Author unknown, Issue: May 1999, Topic: Humour

1915: German Submarine Fires Warning Torpedo Into Lusitania
1916: Army Physicians Laud Mustard Gas as First Inhalable Condiment
1920: Women Experience Futility of Voting Firsthand
1925: Heisenberg Says Uncertainty Principle May or May Not Be Greatest Discovery Ever
1927: Supreme Court Rules Films Do Not Have Right To Remain Silent
1929: Stock Market Crash Linked to Jews, Blacks, Catholics, Radicals, Foreigners, and Anyone Who Looks Funny
1933: FDR's "The Only Thing We Have To Fear Is Eleanor" Speech Calms Nation
1933: New Deal, Same Deck
1934: Newborn Ralph Nader Files Suit Against Mother for Ejecting Him Into Hostile, Unsafe Environment
1937: Jobless Rate Tops 110 Percent With Many Unemployed at More Than One Occupation
1939: Lou Gehrig Comes Down With Lou Gehrig's Disease; "With My Name, I Figured It Was Only a Matter of Time," Says Yankee First Baseman
1947: FAA Charges Drunken UFO Pilot in Roswell Crash
1948: Truman Defeats Dewey; Huey and Louie Have Yet To Concede
1968: Hippies, Beatniks Sign Historic Personal Hygiene Ban
1968: Nonproliferation Treaty Strictly Limits Nuclear Weapons to Nations That Can Afford Them
1969: Teddy Kennedy Charged With "Leaving the Scene of a Successful Cover-Up"
1977: IBM Monopoly Threatens Free Market, Warns Head of Tiny Start-Up Microsoft
1979: U.S. Embassy in Iran Under New Management
1989: Chinese Authorities Kick Off "Keep Tiananmen Square Clean" Week With Special Tank Sweepers
1989: Scientist Achieves Cold Fusion on Honeymoon
1996: Desperate Postmaster General Tries To Hand-Deliver E-Mail
1997: AOL Offers 50 Hours of Free Downtime
1998: ACLU Targets Lactose Intolerance
1999: Turnout for Apocalypse Lighter Than Expected; Most Prefer To Be Elsewhere When World Ends

<< Religious Activities in English: May 1999 | Master Index | International Women's Conference >>

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