Home (日本語)


+By article
+By author
+By issue
+By language
+By location
+By topic
+By year
+Random article
+What links here

Sister Sites

+Mind the Gap
+Portable Alien

Tsukuba Info

+City Hall
+Tsukuba Map
+Tsukuba Orientation
+Tsukuba Wiki

Support AT

+Advertise on AT
+Buy AT stuff
+Donate to AT
+Submit an article
+Take a survey

For Staff

+AT Workspace


+Contact us

Your Daily Moment Of Zen

Author:Author unknown, Issue: July 2002, Topic: Humour

  1. We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse.
  2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a flat tire.
  3. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.
  4. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
  5. No one is listening until you make a mistake.
  6. Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else.
  7. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
  8. It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
  9. It is far more impressive when others discover your good qualities without your help.
  10. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
  11. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
  12. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
  13. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat & drink beer all day.
  14. If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
  15. Don't squat with your spurs on.
  16. If you tell the truth, you don!t have to remember anything.
  17. If you drink, don't park; accidents cause people.
  18. Some days you are the bug, some days you are the windshield.
  19. Don't worry, it only seems kinky the first time.
  20. Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
  21. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.
  22. Timing has an awful lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.
  23. A closed mouth gathers no foot.
  24. Duct tape is like 'the force.' It has a light side & a dark side, and it holds the universe together.
  25. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.
  26. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your mouth is moving.
  27. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
  28. Never miss a good chance to shut up.

<< Summer Festivals | Master Index | Splish! Splash! Wet, Wild and Fun! : July 2002 >>

Alien Times Sponsors

The advertisements that appear on paper and online versions of The Alien Times do not necessarily represent the views of the Alien Times. The Alien Times takes no responsibility for any transactions that occur between advertisers and readers.

The authors of articles that appear in Alien Times reserve the right to copyright their work. Please DO NOT copy any articles that appear in Alien Times without first receiving permission from the author of the article (when known) or the Alien Times Editor.

Funded by the Tsukuba Expo'85 Memorial Foundation, Printed by Isebu